Day 3 of Whole30--tired of the meat already

I'm really not liking this. Part of it is the meat. It's not really heavy with meat, and to be fair, I've only had tuna, a pork chop, and some hamburger so far, but each of those has just served to remind me how much I don't like meat. When I became a vegetarian it was because I didn't want to kill other animals, but now I think part of the reason it was so easy for me was because I just really don't like meat.

I have a lot of old issues with meat. My parents always wanted to be homesteaders. We kept chickens throughout most of my childhood, and at different points in time we had cows, sheep, goats, and rabbits. When my father would bring home calves, sheep, or bunnies, he would tell me and my brothers they were pets. He would encourage us to name them and divvy them up between us. I think this was his way of getting us to take care of them. We didn't have any "normal" pets, no cats or dogs (I think we had a hermit crab once), so we were always happy to have something new to love.

Except one day we would come home from school and find out our pets had been butchered. Part of the reason I was so thin as a child was that I refused to eat my pets. That meant unless it was chicken on the table, I went hungry (Mom was not a big fan of vegetables, so meat, potatoes, and gravy from the meat were often the only options). My mother still thinks I don't like casseroles. I like them fine, but it's really hard to pick the pieces of your pet rabbit out of a casserole. So I skipped them at home.

It was horribly cruel. My brothers and I weren't stupid. We knew where meat came from, and we knew the difference between pets and livestock. Like I said, we always had chickens for eggs and meat. I took my turn gathering eggs, feeding them, and cleaning out the coop. As the oldest, I also helped with the processing when one was killed. Same with the goats. Half my family is Mexican. Eating goat wasn't a big deal. I never considered any of the chickens or goats as pets. Of course, no one ever told me to name them.

Barbados sheep--the kind my family had

I'd mostly gotten over this, but when my oldest daughter became a vegetarian and my son became allergic to mammal meat, leaving meat behind just seemed a natural thing to do. It was really easy to change. Even when I stopped being vegetarian and moved to flexitarian, the meat I had was almost always chicken. Up until yesterday, I hadn't cooked a mammal in almost 3 years.

I'm still doing the Whole30, but I really don't think this is a lifestyle changer for me. But it is making me think a lot more about what I put into my mouth and why. That in itself is a good thing.

I had the same breakfast and lunch today as I had this weekend: eggs and leeks for breakfast, tuna and spinach for lunch.

Dinner tonight was tacos. I really missed the cheese, but the avocado helped that a little. I had to season the hamburger myself because I couldn't find a taco seasoning mix without whey in it. My seasonings just tasted like seasonings. I used chili, cumin, and paprika, but it just tasted like chili, cumin, and paprika. It didn't taste like "taco," know what I mean?

I had three of these things.

After dinner, I worked on my mask and face paint for Halloween a little bit. I really want it to look just right on Friday. Then I went to bed early again. The more time I spend asleep, the less time I spend obsessing over food.

ETA: I got on the scale this morning to weight for the Holiday Scale Accountability Club and had a gain.
1307.51 / 0 / 1284.17